Every firm handles this eventually and almost none has thought about it in advance. The family will remember how it went.
Whoever calls is usually not thinking about accounts. Acknowledge it, ask what they need now, and tell them nothing has to be decided this week.
The single most useful thing you can say early is that there is no urgency.
They are frozen pending documentation. Beneficiary designations govern where assets go and they override the will. Retirement accounts follow their own rules, which differ by account type and by beneficiary.
Your custodian has a defined process and a specific document list. Get it before you need it.
Out-of-date designations are the single most common serious problem discovered at this point, and by then nothing can be done.
This is the argument for reviewing them regularly while it is still an administrative task rather than a permanent outcome.
A beneficiary form is the most consequential document in most client files and the one nobody looks at.
A short list of what has to happen and in what order. Most people in this situation are receiving instructions from several directions and cannot process any of it.
One page. What you will handle, what they need to provide, and what can wait.
Frequently the partner who was less involved in the financial relationship. If you have never spoken to them directly, you now have a relationship with someone who does not know you, at the worst possible time.
That is the argument for talking to both partners for years beforehand.
Do not raise the investment conversation early. It will keep. What the family remembers is whether you made a hard month easier.
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